Taking the Wheel

This paper was difficult to write. First it was hard to come up with a person to write about and then the setting and plot were just as difficult. Luckily the weekend following when I got this assignment I went on a college visit with my mother. During the car ride I thought about how this situation would be perfect for the assignment. I could talk about my mother and the experiences we went through while on this college visit. All I could think about was how beautiful the drive was and in my paper I describe it as "The trees were changing and showing their true colors making themselves stand out from the norm of green. They were everything from lemon yellow, bright orange, warm red and some had already lost all of their leaves and become barren skeletons shedding everything that made them who they were". Also all I could think about was my future and how my mother felt about my future since I would be going to college soon. In my paper I describe her feelings by saying "She always has questions and I know what she’s thinking even if she thinks I don’t. Her oval freckled face and round hazel eyes give it all away. She’s nervous for my uncertain future". 

Once I knew what I was writing about the rest came easily, however after reading it through again I have realized that it sounds more like an outline for a paper more than anything else. The one thing I could do to make this paper good is to add more details about the events which will make the paper more interesting along with enhancing the story. For instance explain the driving experience more by using sensory details and dialogue to make the situation more realistic.

I would like you to give me feedback on my character sketch paper. I feel the most connected to this paper because the topic has ultimately been what my life has been about this whole year. There are a few things I'd specifically like feedback on. The organization of the paper is one thing. When we worked in groups my group members agreed that the something was wrong with the organization, but couldn't figure out how to fix it. Also they were kind of confused about the dominant impression of the paper since it seems to be all over the place from a college visit to driving and from my mother being uncertain to becoming certain. I wasn't sure how to make the two connect since the driving experience took place on the way to a college visit. Last, but not least I would also like to know if the paper makes sense and sounds decent.

Taking the Wheel

           

            I wasn’t quiet sure of my future as most seventeen year old seniors are, yet I was being asked to make a decision that could ultimately change my life. I had an idea of what I wanted to major in and knew what I wanted in a university, but that was ultimately it. All the schools looked the same on paper and on their websites. They all promised that they were the right school for me and showed smiling faces peering back at me through the monitor. I knew this wasn’t true though and knew that the only way for me to find out the truth was to visit the school for myself.

                        The wind howled as it blew by the thin glass window protecting my face from the cold outside world. The trees were changing and showing their true colors making themselves stand out from the norm of green. They were everything from lemon yellow, bright orange, warm red and some had already lost all of their leaves and become barren skeletons shedding everything that made them who they were. The rolling hills of Pennsylvania would hopefully allow me to do the same.

            It is a long drive to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania from Rochester New York. About five hours with out any traffic or stops. This isn’t new to me or my mom. Almost every weekend for the past month we have been going on college visits. She always has questions and I know what she’s thinking even if she thinks I don’t. Her oval freckled face and round hazel eyes give it all away. She’s nervous for my uncertain future.

            I can understand why. I’ve made quiet a few mistakes this past year which my mother seems to love to point out to me. “The house is never clean”, “you never do your work” and my personal favorite “why aren’t you filling out college applications you need to straighten up and get your act together”. The last seems to be all she can talk about.

             I also have a lot to learn. I don’t have work experience, never have any money I always spend it and last but not least I don’t know how to drive. I know the last may sound silly. What kid doesn’t want to learn how to drive? Well that kid would be me. I know I’m going to have to learn how to some time but the thought has always scared me. Being in control of a ton of metal capable of going hundreds of miles an hour while other cars and other things pass by creating the chance for an accident which would be my fault freaks me out. My mother knew my reluctance to drive, but something in her eyes today told me I had no choice when she asked.

            The car came to a screech as my mother pulled to the side of the road. As I sat in the driver’s seat I could feel the wind hitting the car as others speeded by. My palms were clammy as I grabbed the wheel. My whole body tensed as I drove onto the highway. I had only driven once before in a parking lot the day I got my permit which was about 3 or 4 months ago. I tried to follow my mother’s instructions as she guided the wheel from the passenger seat. Slowly I felt my mother’s presence less and less until I was on my own.

“See I knew you could do it all along. I never had a doubt.”